My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize