I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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