I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
