you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
