Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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