You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
