omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I think my vagina is haunted
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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