i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
