booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
bring money and cleavage
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
