so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
