Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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