before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize