Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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