shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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