So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
