Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
