The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
