it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
