what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
How does one acquire holy water?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
