just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
