we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
