oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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