found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
