He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
