Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
