If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
