i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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