Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
