I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
