Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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