remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
