I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
