Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I AM VODKA MAN
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
