They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
