just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
