Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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