Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
