Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
