So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's just like the Real World with babies
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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