he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize