I'm pants shitting drunk right now
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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