Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
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