hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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