You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Your shirt... Was in my pants
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
