party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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