I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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