too bad you live with your parents still
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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