I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
