Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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