And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
