apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
