So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
