No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
