I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Oh god it's open bar.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
