I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
