I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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