so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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