happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
